swiss-cheese

BLOG MOVE

2006-07-14T01:50:00.000-07:00

hahahha... blogspot no more! i'm over at wordpress! come find me here!

NEW BLOG Darlings!

Sick..

2005-12-19T00:09:00.000-08:00

wahahaha..
i have a die-hard virus..
been having it for a bloody long time.
nose bleeding everyday
poo!

Anyway, was thinking of writing a poem abt the blind

Unseeing eyes,
blackness enshrouds.
World of darkness,
yet heart's full of light.

haha
gave up around here.

yah, its been long

2005-11-09T20:54:00.000-08:00

Ntu its my school,
a place i feel
filled with murderous few
plotting, all to kill

All the doors, it seem to me
opens out, wide and free
many a times, right as a bee,
into the very people i see.

The stairs they seem
cast a harzardous gleam.
neverending, long and mean.
They are definitely not for whimps.

Many a slopes, (i've climbed a few)
Slant ever so dangerously real.
Pant you will and try not to reel
Palpitations, you will feel.

But the worst of all is yet to come,
wait until you see our sums.
Exams in uni, (we all are bummed)
So do forgive us If we seem glum

Hmm.. Finally again

2005-09-20T03:11:00.000-07:00

haiz.. just gotten food poisoning..
(yah, i can just picture u guys rolling ur eyes, saying: " not again") haha
yup..
nothing big this time though, no hospitalization.
Says, sigmund Freud (my idol),
EVERYONE HAS A INNATE DEATH INSTINCT.
haha
i think i actually like hospitals. It's a new experience everytime i suppose.
and the fear of what is to come is rather, interessting
haha
nah, it's just tt everyone seems so frightened of the dengue thingy and i'm not.
in fact, i think it's kinda nice to try having it.
but the mosquitos (those which have attacked me) are harmless..
to my disappointment.
i think i would like to try having it.
no, i'm not sadistic.. really
i just like it if it's transient i suppose.. you would catch me wishing for kidney failure and such. Dengue's good.
haha

The world of the past.
--------------------------------------------
In time to come,
one shall wonder,
what one's birth had sang.
in this lonely miserable world,
any angel's song at all.

All in all,
one shall find
that only in life's ending notes,
will one surely see the truth
of one's worth in this world.

World to world,
life's final song
the transition in which finale brings
the last breath, last thought
last tear to be shed.

sheding all covers,
one will find
that darkness isn't too cold
into this embrace one shall find
the comfort void shall bring

No more tears,
no more pain,
no more irking dissonance.
Only darkness shall ensue.
the the macarbe world of past.

muses.. i'm confused..

2005-07-10T05:52:00.000-07:00

haha.. a long time since i blogged yay!
read some blogs, felt all sorts of emotions.. well.. haha.. guess it's cause i kinda have a bad habit of putting myself in other's SKINS.. well.. yup..

sometimes, i wonder, why do we ask "are you ok?" even when we know the person we are speaking to is not ok.

haha.. cheem ah.. it's instinctive i guess..

you can jolly well be writhing silently in pain on the floor and still there will be ppl asking if you are ok.. haha..

it's redundant, pple.. ask if you really have to.. but of course you'll risk an evil eye.. haha..

it is afterall a gesture showing concern . but, sometimes, it really seems as if we all regress into unicellular organisms whenever emotions and feeling of another is involved..

like during the 911 incident. telling the victims not to be sad.. haha it's like so ... so.... i dunno.. hilarious..

So, what should we do instead of asking stupid, single-brain-cell-powered questions?
sometimes, silence might be the best salve. Sitting there, without a word, lending a shoulder, hugs, holding hands.. all these mean you care without the use of redundant words.. let ur heart do the speaking, you hands do the soothing.. after all, actions speaks louder than words. instead of screaming your message across, just sit and hold the person in ur arms.. i'm sure he or she will understand, via the warm of ur arms, the beating of ur heart, the look in ur eyes, that you care, much more than what words can ever express.

why in the world am i planning to be a psychologist? damn.. i should be a professional hugger.. (:

Haha.. feeling better

2005-06-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

yup.. anyway, i found this really cute link.. it's kinda funny, witht the stupid music and all but the folding works.. i swear by it!
http://www.real153.com/img/news/cloth_folding.html

ahhhh...

2005-06-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

hmm.. read abt the gal who posted pictures of herself on the net(=
ok.. she's like really brave.. well, perhaps in a dumb sorta way but still really brave. haha.. I'm not sure all who viewed those stuff she wrote actually thought of it as art though. Personally, the thought of guys leering at such photos really puts me of like BIG TIME.. I mean, heck the crap about hormones man, dun blame the hormones for ur disgusting behaviourXp

i kinda noticed one very important thing that is the fact that teenagers and youngsters nowadays are so OPEN about things like this. YAH, i mean ok i may sound really prissy and all but, i don't think such liberal behaviour is something we ought to learn from western countries. I mean, shouldn't we just learn stuff that are good and leave out the bad? Expression of self is important i suppose but not too much i suppose. The kids nowadays learn stuff right from the TV and cinema without processing anything in their minds..

I relief taught at some schools but, ok, i'm not naming names but really some of these kids know more than what they are supposed to. This excess info often lead to experiments and these are really sick. Some of my young students (male) even 'hump' each other openly. AND THE TEACHERS TOLD ME THAT THIS IS COMMON!!!!!! The other day, while i was walking past the void deck some block of flats, i SAW 2 prepubscent kids doing suff they shouln't even know about! Gawd, what's the world coming to? what happened to innocence? is such behaviour really admirable? i don't think so. the kids really know to much. so much they can't handle the stuff they know. SIGH, i think i rather go back to my little ostrich hole and stick my head in for a longer period of time.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Innocence wilts,
a dying bud
as Promiscuity flowers,
a poisonous bloom.

The Child weeps,
at such misdeeds.
As the Mother herself
tears at her womb.

Ashen-faced,
Expression hides.
Muttering cries of abuse,
through wordless, bloodless lips.

And yet through this,
the World sleeps.
Can they not hear the cries
of babies unborn, unloved?

Defend all derision,
it's my life! you said,
But have you ever wondered
how the Child within cries?

All eyes upon you,
your actions speaks.
What lessons will you teach?
Innocence will you murder?

In the eyes of the Children.
All in the eyes of the Children.

movie going yesterday!

2005-06-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

haha, went off to watch MR and MRS SMITHS yesterday..
was quite fun, but i made record time home yesterday!
haha, arriving home at the stroke of 12! haha.. (nope i didn't drop any footwear) ok.. (still delirious from the late nights) We had fun didn't we guys? haha yup.. The show was really funny.. super hilarious. Brad pitt ain't tt shuai after all :P but man is angelina jolie cool.. she is like really super ( no spoilers! go watch it urself) haha and brad pitt's dumb.. nearly got cobbled by my friend for laughing out loud in the cinema when no one's laughing.. :D

Laughing my way home.. hardly cinderella's mode of transport..

A Note from a Darkened Mind

2005-06-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

Bitter! I thought,
as i swallowed the pill.
Silently i fought,
with all my will.

Bitter! I thought,
as i reminisce the past.
Silently i sought,
Comfort in falseness' mask.

Bitter! I thought,
as darkness soon consumes me.
Silently i sobbed,
eyelids drooping, i no longer see.

Bitter! I thought,
as sweet poison flow in veins.
Silently i dropped,
into oblivion, all life waned

( Tried putting myself in other's shoes but still, i think it's the worst act of cowardice. Come on peeps, face the world and love it! wake up and smell the bacon!)

What lies ahead

2005-06-13T03:41:00.000-07:00

In the road ahead,
it may not be roses a bed.
In the life we wait,
yet upon death it fades.

Indeed in irony,
empathetic of fallacy.
As we look forward, infinity.
Missing's god's gratuity

Hmmm..

2005-06-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

my brother left for thailand.
he's going to help the tsunami victims..
why aren't i with him?
damn, he's going with his skool.

anyway, i don't like leaving my parents alone.
adults can sometime be sooooooooo pessimistic at times.
but, i really glad.

Yet this undescribable assails me.
i wonder why.

i was really shocked
i didn't know.
not even an inkling.
and i can't help but think about me and my stupid self.

finally, i found a personification of courage.

yet i somehow feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness.
just like before..
i will and i can never adjust to this.
If ever there should come a day where i am able to not feel a single thing,
that would probably be the day, i sold my soul to the devil.

sitting at home alone, listening to songs in minor.

Let me, give me.

2005-06-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Let me share,
your tears as well as your laughter.
Let me share,
your sorrows with your joy.

Give me your pain,
if you find it hard to bear.
Give me your tears,
if your eyes run dry.

Let me be your strength.
Let me be your friend.
Let me.
Let me.

I Can Cry Now

2005-06-08T19:41:00.000-07:00

Let the Niagara of my soul flow on
Let the waters of the world be ever silent
The regal tears of the Majestic Mother is Sovereign

She weeps
Yes, She weeps

From the summit of macho superiorty
The male platitude screams
I dare you to cry—I dare you to cry
Unveil your nakedness by shedding a tear

Africa—fountain of blood..She bleeds She bleeds
Her inner-sense slaughtered in the name of love

Innocent blood crying fushia tears
Tears more numerous than grains of sand
Tears—messages to deaf ears

Don’t kill my children
Don’t let them kill my sons and daughters

Can you hear the tears, the plea, the words
The cry for help, for mercy,
In pain, in hope, in vain

I can cry now

Let the Niagara of my soul flow on
Let he waters of the world be silent
The regal tears of the Majestic Mother is Sovereign

My tears shall wash the impurities from infected wounds
My tears shall summon buried Truths
My tears—missionaries to barbarian saviors

Let the heavens rejoice
My tears are my voice
Let the rains know—my pains were my reigns
I wouldn’t cry

Now, let the earth behold my mirth
I can cry now…I can cry now
Let the waters of Noah realize my tears
Let the rainbow reverence my tears
Let the pot of gold behold, it is not as precious

I can cry now…

Finally, I can cry now

Josephine DixonBanks

just took a silly quiz..

2005-05-28T21:39:00.000-07:00

You scored as Yoda.

Yoda

83%

Padme Amidala

58%

Clone Trooper

53%

R2-D2

53%

Darth Vader

47%

Obi Wan Kenobi

44%

Anakin Skywalker

39%

Mace Windu

39%

General Grievous

36%

C-3PO

36%

Emperor Palpatine

28%

Chewbacca

22%

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

bored

2005-05-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

i'm bored.
so bored the idea of writing a poem bores me=)
out of a job, out of stuff to do..

In-vigil

2005-05-05T01:51:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered
why students hunch so?
Scribbling furiously,
lo and Behold.

Do look closely
peer with soulful eyes.
See you weighty burdens
Grades that never suffice

Beckoning promises
of future untold
spurs them merciless
cruel and cold

Do you still wonder
why students hunch so?
Battling the system,
lo and behold.

enervation

2005-04-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

In school.
I listen, i obey, i do
At home,
I listen i obey i do

till one day.. i no longer do

tired of listening to everyone but myself
tired of obeying every single command
tired of doing all u want me to
tired.. so tired..

peterpan

2005-04-25T02:01:00.000-07:00

in the land of never and never
lies youth forever and ever
for in the chase of all things real
we loses ourselves, earning our meals

Losing our dreams, our childlike innocence
losing our faith, our manlike emotions
When will we learn to uncover not hide
the child that is inside

So start today, reach out and pray
that perhaps some day, come what may
we will finally learn to give
and to receive what fate's sisters weave.

TippyToes---- dancing cheek to cheek

2005-04-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

Heaven, I�m in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we�re out together dancing cheek to cheek
Heaven, I�m in heaven
And the cares that hung around me through the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler�s lucky streak
When we�re out together dancing (swinging) cheek to cheek
Oh I love to climb a mountain
And reach the highest peak
But it doesn�t thrill (boot) me half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek
Oh I love to go out fishing
In a river or a creek
But I don�t enjoy it half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek
(come on and) dance with me
I want my arm(s) about you
That (those) charm(s) about you
Will carry me through...
(right up) to heaven, I�m in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we�re out together dancing, out together dancing (swinging)
Out together dancing cheek to cheek

安琪儿

2005-04-22T05:39:00.000-07:00

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Sacrifice

2005-04-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

Who are we to measure, sacrifices made
How can we understand the pain and joy in exchange?
What goes on, in that devilish bargain, one for fourty-one?
Where will she go, heaven or hell?
When will i ever know the choice i'd make?
If i was in her shoes.

She left behind her child.
she left behind her students.
She left behind a beautiful story.
She left behind a cold, sad, empty her.

In leaping forward,
she made a barter with the devil.
Take me and leave them alone.
In an instance when pliant meets the cold and unmoving.
Screams and screeches rise in air.

The teacher gave herself
She gave her students life and love
She gave them a chance to live wonderful lives
She gave them a future.
She gave her son pain and also, most importantly,
she gave her son a mother to be proud of.

I can't say what she did was right.
I can't say what she did was wrong.
I can't say i'll do the same.
all i can say is..
She's a good teacher, one i will respect.

(ps.. this is not a poem, rather, it's a structured prose.. haha)

in the dark

2005-03-20T16:13:00.000-08:00

Beyond the corner,
darkness lurks.
Dare you linger?
Braving Devil's work.

Footsteps echo,
in time with yours.
Turning behind, woe!
Facing imagined foes.

Run, flee, fly away.
heart thundering, pounding in your throat.
A flash, a glint, cold, unkind.
A sea of red, shake in death's throes.

Beyond the corner,
where darkness lurks.
Dare you linger?
Braving Death's work.

Tarot

2005-03-20T00:25:00.001-08:00

a deck of seventy eight
lined with meanings ever so full
for the ones who seek, ever so meek
the paths open in future, indeed

meaning deep in cards of major
feelings weak in cards of minor
hidden, shrouded in mists of future
will i be rich, are feelings mutual?

truth in that that tarot guides
nv it b the cards are might
nothing but everything changes unknown
of time of date of place and how

ur destiny still lies in ur hands.
like the tarot deck tt mystifies man
seek and u shall find (a pack of lies?)
don't and u'll end up none the wise.

the hilarity of sorrow

2005-03-17T05:05:00.001-08:00

We sense that life is a dark comedy and maybe we can live with that.
However, as the entire thing is written for the benefit of the gods,
too many of the jokes go right over our heads.....

boy..

2005-03-17T05:01:00.000-08:00

There was a boy,
A very strange, enchanted boy.
They say he wandered very far, very far.
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day,
A magic day, he passed my way.
And while we spoke of many things
fools and kings
this he said to me,
" the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love
and be loved in return"

Void

2005-02-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

blackness envelopes
bleakness ensues
blanching i turned
blundering i ran

The hospital

2005-01-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

a goulash of heaven and hell
a place where angels of life
strolled among the death bringers
waging wars, armed with mortal knowledge

who will win indeed.

seconds pass winged
yet for others it crawls
weighed by dreadful apprehension
if life or death will triumph

who will win indeed.

cries of immeasurable pain
and wails of illimitable loss
fills the ever alterating ward

yet below this devilish cacophony
whispers of the gentlest
and susurrates of the kindest
weaves a beautiful songs beneath.

beautiful yet horrendous indeed

Pain

2005-01-18T18:08:00.000-08:00

sharp, sudden, the pain knifes
burning, flaming, it rises
no logical thought required
immersed in the cruel, merciless torture

slow, simmering, the pain spreads
slicing, flaying, it continues
nothing you do stops it
drowning in the crude, meaningless torment

when will it be over?

The three sisters

2005-01-18T17:57:00.000-08:00

Clotho, lachesis, atropos
spinning, measuring, snipping
forming, judging, deciding
making, thinking, acting

living wondering hurting
dreaming waking screaming
walking sensing jolting
running falling dying

presumptous man indeed

A brand new day indeed

2005-01-06T03:53:00.000-08:00

As dreary light falls,
upon my bitter tears.
will I find the courage
to find hope once more.

Would my scars heal,
through the passage of time?
for the lovelier the memories,
the harsher cruel realities will.

Is it always so
I asked myself amazed
at the torrents of emotions that courses
through my very soul.

If this must be the pain
damning every wonderful encounter
why then will I still seek
when in time my heart will be maimed

For this I seek no more.

Pliniism

2004-12-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

Solum ut inter ista vel certum sit nihil esse certi nec quicquam miserius homine aut superbius.
Miraque humani ingeni pesre sanguinem et caedes condere annalibus iuwat, ut scelera hominum noscantur mundi ipsius ignaris.
Nautura vero nihil hominibus brevitate vitae praestitit melius.

Among there things, one thing seems certain-that nothing certain exists and is more pitful or more presumptuous than man
Because of a curious disease of the human mind, it pleases us to enshrine in history records of bloodshed and slaughter, so that persons ignorant of the facts of the world may be acquainted with the crimes of mankind
Nature has granted man no better gift than the brevity of life.

walk with me

2004-09-22T04:51:00.000-07:00

Come, walk with me,
There's only thee
To bless my spirit now -
We used to love on winter nights
To wander through the snow;
Can we not woo back old delights?
The clouds rush dark and wild
They fleck with shade our mountains heights
The same as long ago
And on the horizon rest at last
In the looming massses piled;
While moonbeams flash and fly so fast
We scarce can say they smiled

...

'Nay call me not - it may not be
Is human love so true?
Can Friendship's flower droop on for years
And revive anew?
No, though the soil be wet with tears
How fair soe'er it grew
The vital sap once perished
Will never flow again
And surer than that dwelling dread,
The narrow dungeon of the dead
Time parts the hearts of men -'

A Little While

2004-09-18T17:20:00.000-07:00

A little while, a little while
The noisy crowd are barred away;
And i can sing and i can smile
A little while I've holiday!

Where wilt thou go my harassed heart?
Full many a land invites thee now;
And places near, and far apart
Have rest for thee, my weary brow-

There's a spot 'mid the barren hills
Where winter howls and driving rain
But if the deary tempest chill
There is a light that warms again
...

Could I have lingered but and hour
It well had paid a week of toil
But truth has banished fancy's power
I hear my dungeon bars recoil-

Even as i stood with raptured eye
Absorbed in bliss so deep and dear
My hour of rest had fleeted by
And given me back to weary care-

Star

2004-09-12T23:41:00.001-07:00

Cold clear and blue the morning heaven
Expands its arch on high
Cold clear Lake Werna's water
Reflects that winter's sky
The moon has set but Venus shines
A silent silvery star

With this i say

2004-09-12T03:41:00.000-07:00

With this i mourn
For those who have passed
And those that were left behind
May courage their hearts inundate
For their pain we know is great

With this i pray
For the child in pain
And that she may be strong
For like an angel with broken wings
Bleakness is what the future brings

With this i plead
To those who are lost
And for them to find the light
For they have hurt many without a fault
Through their actions without a thought

Douglas'sRide

2004-09-10T06:03:00.000-07:00

Fall leaves fall die flowers away
Lengthen night and shorten day
Every leaf speak bliss to me
Fluttering from the autumn tree
I shall smile when wreaths of snow
Blossom where the rose should grow
I shall sing when night's decay
Ushers in a drearier day

Love and Friendship by Emily Jane Bronte

2004-09-01T04:03:00.000-07:00

Love is like the wild rose-briar;
Friendship like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?

The wild rose-briar is sweet in spring,
Its summer blossoms scent the air;
Yet wait till winter comes again,
And who will call the wild-briar fair?

Then , scorn the silly rose wreath now,
And deck thee with the holly's sheen,
That, when December blights thy brow,
He still may leave thy garland green.

Ode to Sorrow

2004-07-18T00:37:00.000-07:00

.... To Sorrow,
I bade good-morrow,
And thought to leave her far away behind;
But cheerly,cheerly,
She loves me dearly;
She is so constant to me, and so kind;
I would deceive her,
And so leave her,
But ah! she is so constant and so kind

Beneath my palm trees, by the river side
I sat a weeping: in the whole world wide
There was no one to ask me why i wept;
And so i kept
Brimming the water-lily cups with tears
Cold as my fears

The value of a moment

2004-07-18T00:26:00.000-07:00

To realise the value of One Year,
Asked a student who faild his AP exams.
To realise the value of One Month,
Ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realise the value of One Week,

Ask an editor of a weekly magazine.

To realise the value of One Day,

Ask a daily wage labourer who has 6 kids to feed.

To realise the value of One Hour,

Ask the lovers waiting to meet.

To realise the value of One Minute,

Ask a person who missed her train.

To realise the value of One Second,

Ask a person who survived an accident.

To realise the value of One Milisecond,

Ask the person who won the silver in Olympics

Yay.. i remembered!!

2004-07-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

Sigh.. it's 0744 and i'm at home.. going to see doctor later.. hopefully everything works out.. den you guys wun need to see poor ole limping jesseln anymore.. haha.. quite sad.. very pain.. i got low low low low pain threshold eh.. but always so accident prone.. not fair.. den now like that.. so sad.. but ok la.. manage to find out that quite a lot of ppl really nice.. very caring and all.. not to mention patient enough to travel with me. i really think i should changre my name to The One Who Swagger and Crawl.. haha.. thank you thank you all.. really ah.. now i noe how much you all love me.. EGO.. haha wah actually yah la.. this (medical term) plantar warts is a blessing in disguise.. yup.. i mean how else would i be able to know that the world is actually filled with so many caring and kindhearted ppl..

Haha.. got a BLOg

2004-06-05T22:20:00.000-07:00

diao.. yay.. got myself a blog ppl..
hahaha
eh... i hope i rem to update it tho